Running mad and such

May 4, 2016

“Run mad as often as you choose, but do not faint.”

This quote has been going through my head lately. Although I adore writing, I’m wondering if it’s time for a career change so that I can focus on writing more creatively. As much as the flexibility of freelancing is nice, it can also be quite lonely and isolating. I also wonder sometimes if I have the personality for it. I get so distracted by sunshine, pepperoni sticks and wanting to devour Asian Beauty blogs. I almost miss the structure of having a steady set of hours and coworkers to talk to. But this leaves me wondering… What else would I be?

I feel too old to be having this much of an identity crisis.

Maybe I just haven’t focused enough on my creative writing and blogging. I have so many ideas and yet I don’t put nearly as much effort into it. Do you ever have that problem? Being too afraid to be good, to succeed or too afraid to fail and be horrid, that you just don’t do anything?

I feel that indeed, I have run mad quite often but too often faint. I give up too soon.

If you could be anything, what would you be? What should I be?

I’m so random. I love art, and thought art therapy. I love books and thought archivist/librarian. I think stay in writing. I want my Etsy store to succeed. So many dreams, so not enough time.

How do you find focus? How can you reinvent yourself when perhaps a little bit past your prime? Is it ok to not settle for settling in? Do we have to, at some magic age, want to settle in with a partner, have kids, have a steady career, buy a house? I struggle with that, because I do like to run after new things, new experiences, new places and the idea of sticking to one place somewhat frightens me. Or does living in 2016 mean we can mold and create a life that might stand outside of societal expectations and feel ok with that?

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